The End to a Beginning

Well, I don't know who will even read this, because those few who even did read my blog have probably given up on whatever hope they had of seeing another post from me, at least on this site. Well, Surprise Y'all! Here I am, it's been more than 7 months since my return from the holy land, but I'm here, and I'm late, but that's better than never.

My heart still yearns to wake up in the morning (after pushing snooze at least 15 times of course) and have the first thing I see be that messy little nightstand that got cleaned once a week and stayed that way for maybe a day or two. I want to be in the place where I would roll out of my short little bed every morning right onto my knees, often still with the covers around my body keeping me warm. I want to live in that small little room with my 3 other roommates. We sure were perfect for each other. I want to groggily walk from the side of my bed, to the bathroom, to my closet, to the door, to the Oasis some may call a cafeteria. I want a buffet, every meal, every day. I want Ahmed's food.

I want to walk out the door, to a path, which leads to a gate, which upon opening, leads to something unlike anything I had yet, and ever will experience ever again. I want to walk up and down that blasted dreaded hill that I cursed so many times under my breath as I gasped for air and wondered if there was any way I could turn my backpack into a jet pack. I'd walk it again a thousand times for even one day back. I want to be the minority, I want to be surrounded by the people of Jerusalem. I want to be used to hearing phony, cheesy pick up lines everywhere I go and be given "the best price" because of who I am.

I want to feel so close with so many people. I want to feel that same peace that is intangible, explainable, but oh so incredible. I want to have so much of my time each and every day focused on those things in life that are most important. I want to be surrounded by people who are also earnestly seeking to find Christ. I want to see the see the scriptures come to life in the actual place the story happened.

My 3 and 1/2 months in the holy land were the most amazing ones of my life. I learned so much, more than I could have ever hoped. I got to know so many incredible people, each of which taught me something different. I learned more about the person I am, and the person I want to be.

Of the many things I learned, I could write for hours upon hours upon hours. So, in the interest of time, I'll narrow it down to a few.

1. The spirit truly does speak in a still small voice and revelation is often received in a slow and gradual way.
2. You can learn to love any person, anytime, anywhere, any situation.
3. Our prayers are always answered.
4. Selflessness-->Happiness

Number 1

The spirit truly does speak in a still small voice and revelation is often received in a slow and gradual way.

Before I left to Jerusalem, I had a lot of expectations about how my experience was going to be. It was going to change my life. I was going to have so many incredible, overwhelming, spiritual experiences that I wasn't going to be able to handle it, and I was going to be in tears 80% of the time. I was going to walk in those holy places, the garden tomb, Gethsemane, and be immediately filled with an unshakable knowledge of the truthfulness of the Gospel and existence and realness of the savior. 

Raise your hand if your hand if you think this is how my experience ended up being.

If you're currently raising your hand, you are wrong.

This is definitely not how my experience in the Holy Land ended up being and I learned that it is not the way the spirit regularly talks to me. I do not doubt however that many of my peers were able to have these experiences and that they still get tingles when the reflect back on the communications with the spirit they were able to have. 

I wanted so badly to have an incredible spiritual experience there. I prayed for it probably at least once a day or more. I wanted to look back to a specific moment and think "That's when I gained a complete testimony. That's when I knew that God is real."

I quickly learned that the Lord speaks to each of us in the way he sees fit, and I was quickly humbled by the fact. I continued to pray for spiritual experiences but what I didn't realize that my prayers had already been answered. I just didn't acknowledge it. 

No I didn't have a time where I broke down in tears unable to speak due to the overwhelming influence of the spirit.

But I felt it

No I didn't hear any voices, or see any angels.

But they were there

In white robes beyond the veil, or in their cargo pants and white v necks, there were angels all around me.

I was worried when it was time to come home that I did not have one of these ground breaking unbelievable spiritual experiences. I wondered, "Have I done all God wanted me to do?" "Have I made the most of this experience?" It wasn't until I reflected upon the past 3 1/2 months that I realized how apparent the spirit had been and how much it had taught me. 

Number 2

You can learn to love any person, anytime, anywhere, any situation.

There were 83 of us in our group of students. Because of this one may feel tempted to assume that there were bits of contention, and cliques, and that everyone may have had a friend but that not everyone were friends with each other.

Wrong.

Or at least that's how I felt. I feel a friendship and a bond with each and every student in our group as well as with our teachers and many of the staff at the center. Whenever I had thoughts about someone similar to, "Hmm, we probably won't be that great of friends." or "I don't like this about them," it always seemed like the next day I would have an opportunity to get to know that person better and learn how incredible they really are. I learned to love every single person there once I got to know them. This made me think about how each and every one of us is truly a child of God and he will forever love us. We are incredibly valuable to him. We would do well to treat those around us as the incredibly valuable individual that they are. 

Number 3

Our prayers are always answered.

 There are two specific experiences I had in Jerusalem involving prayer that will forever be with me.

While I was in Jerusalem there was a period of time when I was going through a trial and felt more alone than ever. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I felt so angry, sad, frustrated, devastated, confused, disappointed, stuck, deflated and a million other things. Those few days were some of the most sorrow filled days I have ever experienced. I talked with my parents over the phone about my struggles which helped but it was hard without them there with me to really converse about what was going on. I talked to the wife of one of my professors which was helpful but I felt like because she didn't really know me and my family she couldn't understand. During that time, I think I prayed harder than I ever have before. I didn't say much, but I took time to just cry and cry to the Lord and asked him to help me understand and be okay. I remember talking on the phone with my parents one day and I was talking with them about how hard it was for me to go through this alone, without anyone by my side to help me, to talk with me, to hug me and tell me that it was all going to be okay. My mom reminded me that there may not be anyone in my family there with me, but that there is someone who is always there and who completely understands how I feel. I know that if it were not for my savior Jesus Christ, and his selfless atoning sacrifice, there is no way that I would have been able to be "okay." I don't know that I would've even be able to get through that trial and if I did, I know that it would have blended me up and spit me out in a much weaker state. Instead, I was able to learn so much from that experience and come out the other side as a better and stronger person. 

On Saturday, May 31, 2012 I sat in sacrament meeting in the beautiful auditorium of the BYU Jerusalem center. I remember looking out over the majestic view and wondering to myself "I wonder if I'll ever be asked to give a talk while here in the holy land." The following week, Saturday April 7th 2012, I found myself standing behind the pulpit, delivering words of a page to a room full of people, with the city of Jerusalem behind me. Giving a talk on Easter Sabbath in Jerusalem was one of the most amazing experiences I could ask for. I was asked to talk about the resurrection. I would be speaking with my branch president as well as the brother from one of the senior couples that was there, a doctor who is incredibly eloquent and educated. I was beyond intimidated. I felt like I had been given a marvelous opportunity and I did not want to blow it. I wanted to deliver whatever words the Lord would have his children hear. It took much preparation, study, conversing, study, preparation, writing, study, revising, preparation, and a lot of time, but those things in combination with fervent prayer and pleading with the Lord, I was shown incredible mercy. The Lord filled the page with words and shaped them as they came out of my mouth into what he wanted them to be. I know, in the bottom of my heart that my father in heaven assisted me in every step of preparation that went into that talk. He knew what he wanted his children to hear, I was just lucky enough to be the mouthpiece to deliver the message.

Number 4

Selflessness leads to happiness.

My last few weeks in Jerusalem I thought a lot about the experiences I'd had and what I'd learned so far. I worried about whether or not I had learned what my Father in Heaven wanted for me to learn and if I had become more like the person he wants me to be. If you know me, you may know that I don't become worried extremely often or extremely easily, but when I do become worried about something, it plagues my mind until I'm able to find an answer or solution to my problem or question. My thoughts become extremely occupied and I begin to micro-analyze each part of my worry. This is what happened to me in Jerusalem and needless to say, I became stressed. I prayed and prayed to my Father that he would give me peace and that he would show me what he wanted me to know, do, and learn in addition to things I already knew and had done or learned. As I sat in the auditorium of the Jerusalem Center one night, looking over the city, and pondering about the significance of my experience and what I was supposed to take away from it. One word came to my mind. 

Selflessness.

I thought about all the evil in the world, crime, wars, dishonesty, corruption, maliciousness, etc. and about the source of each of these problems. What I came up with was selfishness. If you really think about many of the issues in this world today and about how they came to be, I'm sure that at least part of the cause for most, if not all, of these issues is selfishness. I know that I am one person and that one person may not be able to change much on their own, but they can change something for someone else, then that person can do the same for another, and so on, and so on (you catch my drift) and before you know it, a great difference has been made. 

I'm not saying I've mastered the trait of Selflessness (cuz I most definitely haven't), or that I'm on a quest to end all war and struggle, but I just know that if I can become better, I can make the world a little better, and that's all I wanna do. 

If you made it through this post I applaud you. It's monstrously long with no pictures. I realize that. But I just couldn't bear to leave my Jerusalem blog like it was without a final ode to the Holy Land. 

I couldn't be more grateful for the experiences I had in Jerusalem and for the person I have become because of those experiences. I continue to learn from those 3 1/2 incredible months and those 83+ people (more like 120+ with faculty, staff, and my Palestinean pals) each and every day. I count myself incredibly blessed to have had that experience and pray that I am able to share the blessings of it with others.

Alhamdulillah

GSG (aka Gadianton Secret Gingers, Get Skinny Galilee, Great Spiritual Galilee, etc.)

Now I know why brother Ludlow aka "J-Rowdy" says that Galilee is one of the most beautiful places on earth.

That right there is the beginning to a post I once started writing about my time spent in Galilee several months ago. What an incredible and magical time that was and what an exquisite place. When people ask me what my favorite part about Jerusalem was (which is an impossible question to answer) I always mention Galilee as one of my favorites and these are the reasons why:

1) Galilee is more like what I always pictured when I heard the stories of Christ's ministry.

See this?

And this?

And This??

And This???

 That's where I was. These pictures are pretty breathtaking if I do say so myself, but they don't even capture a fraction of the beauty there in Galilee really. It was honestly such a majestic and harmonious place even in it's natural simplicity. I am so grateful for the time I was able to spend in this haven.

2) Our Time in Galilee was nearer to the end of the semester so the work load was lighter.

Believe it or not boys and girls, school exists, even in Jerusalem. Yes, even in Turkey. Yes, definitely in Galilee. We only had one bus for 2 classes of over 40 people each while we were in Galilee so while one class was out on a field trip the other class would be at the kibbutz having class. Although we still had school and studying and tests and homework to do in Galilee, two of the classes we had previous in the semester had ended so the work load was a lot lighter than earlier on in the semester which allowed for more bonding with my peers.

which brings me to my next point...

3) Galilee is where many relationships were solidified that I know will last a lifetime and beyond.

I already felt like I was friends with every single student by the time we went to Galilee, but Galilee is were some of me and my good comrades became even better friends. I was able to forge some pretty incredible friendships in Jerusalem. I was with these people, every day granted, but only for about three and a half months, but by the end I felt like I had known many of them for longer than a lifetime. Some of these people had a very significant hand in changing my life and making my Jerusalem experience what it was. To know more about some of these incredible individuals visit this incredible blog. I am so grateful that in Galilee I was able to become even closer with these people as well as closer to the Lord. 

which brings me to my last point...

4) Galilee helped me to come so much closer to the Lord. 

Being in a place so close to what I picture biblical lands to be like, and studying the Savior's life and the miracles he performed while at the places they actually happened, is an experience that can never be replaced. It's incredible to read through the scriptures and thing back on when I visited the places they mention and read my journal entries from when I was there. I learned a lot about my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ while in Galilee. 

I am so grateful for the experience I had to visit Galilee, and can't wait to go back... Someday!

RUNble in the J-ru Jungle

(Saturday March 17th, 2012)

This morning I woke up feeling as if my legs were made out of flesh and boulder rather than bone. My alarm screamed at me multiple times to wake up but it was to no avail. I felt as if my body had aged 50 years overnight. I guess that's what you get for a sore lack of preparation. As I've previously mentioned, yesterday contained one of the many 'firsts' in my life. Yesterday I participated in the Jerusalem 2012 marathon by running the 10K, and what an experience it was! I woke up yesterday morning, with a tinge of hope that maybe I'd be sick enough to throw up, so that I would have a legitimate excuse not to participate in the race that day. Alas, it didn't happen. As I proceeded to get ready for the race and slogged my way up to breakfast, I repeatedly thought to myself, "Why in the world did I agree to this?" But, even though doubtful thoughts penetrated my mind, my body sort of turned on to auto pilot and before I knew it I was in a van on the way to the 10k. We arrived at the park we were told to meet at for the starting point a few hours before the race actually started, roughly around the time some of our fellow students and one of our teachers were starting the half marathon. Props to those 5! As I was running the course and saw the diverting signs for the 'halfers', I just kept thinking to myself how grateful I was that I did not have to run that course. A few other students and I wandered around in the muddy park and were actually able to see the first 10 or so place finishers of the full marathon. The first place finisher had a time of 2 hours, 19 minutes, and 51 seconds. Are you kidding me? A full marathon in less than two and a half hours? I had no idea that was impossible, but I've got to say, I was pretty impressed! If only I had the ability to do that. Watching all those men run past the finish line got me to thinking, "I wonder how many miles they've ran in their life?" It's certainly got to be a whole lot. Someone doesn't just get that good at running that quick or that easily. There was for sure a lot of training that went into that. Well, eventually it came time for the race to start. I made a stop in the restroom and came out to find that the rest of my group was already down at the starting line. Normally this wouldn't phase me but when you're constantly with at least 2 other people whenever you're outside the center (missionaries would understand the feeling), it's a little unnerving to be alone. I was eventually able to find the tent where I could check my bag in and was on my way down the the starting line. Half-way there I remembered that I forgot the inhaler I borrowed from my roommate (because I lost mine at Petra) in the bag I checked. Tempted to just proceed to the race and just deal with the extra difficulty of not having used an inhaler, I turned back around and retrieved the inhaler (which ended up to be a good choice). I was rushing to the finish line after that and got there just as the runners were passing the starting line. I was in the back of the herd, away from my friends which wasn't terrible but wasn't ideal either. The weather yesterday in Jerusalem was not great either. We ran in rain, hail, and up and down so many hills. At the beginning of the race I honestly contemplated turning back, because I was almost sure that there was no way I could complete this race. The most training I'd done was eating one cup of hot milk instead of two in the Oasis (the cafeteria here in the center) and occasionally taking the stairs instead of the elevator from the 6th to the 8th floor. I was, however, able to push my ill-trained body on and eventually made it to the finish line. I am proud to say that I did not walk one step of that race (although sometimes my jogging was slower than others walking pace). I really did end up having a lot of fun though, and seeing some of my friends from the Jru Center waiting for me at the finish line was totally worth it. However impossible it may sound, I actually was able to learn a lot from the experience. 1: You are capable of more than you know. I did not think that I would be capable of running the whole entire time, I thought for sure that I would have to walk a lot of it, but through perseverance, mind power, and believing in myself, I was able to reach my goal. 2: Preparation is essential. Although I was able to run the whole race, it was not easy. If I would have been conscientious in my preparation and started running a little more and more each day to build up my endurance, I could have run that race without so much difficulty and finished much quicker. 3: There are always going to be storms and trials in life, but the hour is darkest right before the dawn. It was raining on and off throughout the race and at one point it even started hailing. There was one point in the race that I just closed my eyes because of all the rain, and just opened my eyes every now and again to make sure I was staying on the right path. That also taught me that sometimes you just need to put your trust in God, do all you can do, then just close your eyes and let him take control.

The first place finisher!

Gobble Gobble

Well as most of you know, last week we spent 7 days in Turkey. Best spring break I've had yet I must say! There was so much that we did, and I could write a mile long post about it, then create a two mile long post full of pictures, but I'll just do a mile long post of pictures from the trip instead. Enjoy!

The sunset through the dirty window of our Plane on our way to Turkey

Welcome to Istanbul indeed!

In front of the Blue Mosque

Inside the Blue Mosque

My great friend Ashley and I in front of a great view from the Czar's palace area (photo cred Brother Chapman)

At an old Czar's Palace

We went to the Grand Bazaar!

All bundled up and wind blowing in my face during our little cruise on the Bospherous Straight

You gotta have the classic Titanic pic

Our four person, roommate version of the Titanic pic

All of the 5 Sarahs here at the Jerusalem Center this semester

Beautiful View from our boat

Obama Baklava

The world's best Baklava!

Turkey sure loves Baklava. I think we ate it at almost every meal, and if not, at least once a day.

TROY!

In the horse at Troy

Sunset at our hotel near Troy

Cousin Jon helping me out onto the boards

Such a cute little village on our way to Assos

Assos, mentioned in Chapter 20 of Acts

Bradshaw Family Pic! (Me and my cousin are both here in Jerusalem, along with two other girls with the last name Bradshaw who are sisters, but as far as we know we are not related to them. In any event, there are 4 Bradshaws here at the Jerusalem Center.)

In the cable car on the way up to Perganum/Acropolis

Perganum

Beautiful Scenery

One of the steepest theaters in the world!

Courtney, Kaylee and I in the theater

Courtney, Kaylee and I with Brother Ludlow a.k.a. "J Rowdy"

The library at Ephesus, it's like a free standing Petra!

Does this picture look familiar to you? Yep! Turn to photo 31 in the pictures following the bible in the LDS quad, just before the Book of Mormon.

Proof that I was there

Me at Priene, with Sheep!

New add for Cingular, and we didn't even mean to.

Saint John's Basilica (said to be where John the Baptist was buried)

The headstone of the tomb of John the baptist

Another picture from the Basilica

A pillar left over from the Temple of Artemis, one of the 7 wonders of the world

Sunset on the beach at one of our hotels

Classic jumping picture

The Grand Mosque

The washing area in the Grand Mosque. Muslims are required to be completely clean before participating in prayer so they wash their hands, face, ears, etc. right before prayer.

Reason number 27 why I am grateful to live in America. I have never once had to pay to use a restroom there.

The Temple of Sardis. Sardis is mentioned in Revelations chapter 3.

Huge Column at the Temple of Sardis.

Me in the ancient Gymnasium where all the sporting events used to take place.

The infamous Brother (Doctor) Chapman

This is what they used to use for toilets. Women on one side, men on the other. No stalls, no separate bathrooms. Thank heavens for modern day plumbing!

Nicaea, where the council of atook place, which was a council made to create statements of belief, in an effort to define a unity of beliefs for all of Christianity.

Me in the Hagia Sofia. Said by brother Jackson, our academic director here, to be the 6th most amazing thing in the world.

In the Mosque